That little word 'Yes'

YES. A small three letter word. Would you like another cuppa? yes please. Isn't it cold today? Yes it bloody well is. My question is do we use it enough to enhance our lives? The reasoning for my deep & meaningful question time is because I have just finished reading the very talented Danny Wallace's book also subsequently made into a big Hollywood blockbuster, Yes Man.


For those who havent had their nose in the book or watched Jim Carey portray the tale, the basis of the real life story follows Danny, who feels he has got stuck in a rut with his everyday life. He meets a man on the bus ride home (which he wouldnt have been on had it not been for the tube not running) who simply recommends he says yes more. So what starts as simply accepting invitations to the pub with mates turns into spectacular chain of yes's that change his life.

I think we all relate with that burned out feeling where we turned down simple invites with friends because often we just cant be bothered. We're tired, its the same old same old & by not doing it seems we're changing the habitual life patterns we're stuck in. Or, maybe on the other hand, it is the fear of where saying yes will lead. One of my traits that I always view as a doubled edged sword is the fact that I fear the unknown, great that I'm a stable, loyal little bugger but equally sad that change doesnt sit well with me. What am I afraid of? It comes down the lack of control. I hold my hands up to being a control freak and the fear of anyone or anything, especially chance, taking that away from me is something I cant imagine.

But reading Danny's tale, which I assume to all have happened near enough as documented, made me think about how quickly I say no to invites... which are opportunities..... which could lead to all sorts of new experiences. I was struck cold that I could be missing out on all sorts of things that I only dared might happen to me. Whats the worse that could happen? Lots of really good things happened to Danny & the chain of random events also meant his 'yes saying' had a massive effect on other people as well. Some might say a coincidence but I think Danny's actions meant that life changed for other people - and that coming from a stalwart believer in 'if its meant to be it wont pass you by' is pretty, well mega. Maybe we do get a chance to create our own fate/destiny/path in life and that is a whole other avenue to be explored.

To bring this blog to an end and show how much Danny's book is already having an effect on me, I was sat on a train waiting to depart Waterloo just this very weekend when a lovely man (who I later learned was Tom, the illustrator from Basingstoke) asked if he could take the empty seat next to me. 'Of course' I say and he sits down and takes his book out (bear with me this does get more interesting). You've guessed it, he's only bloody reading Yes Man. Cue much excitement from me - dont worry I didnt spoil it for him - but it lead to a lengthy discussion on saying yes and how we both wished we could be a bit more spontaneous. I think theres probably a good chance I bored the tits off him telling him my life story, my regrets, my wishes but I wanted to take this opportunity to thank him for listening to me, it was strangely liberating telling a complete stranger things I dont always want to admit to myself. So Danny Wallace had his bearded Maitreya figure, I had Tom the Illustrator from Basingstoke but after saying our polite goodbyes/have a nice life chat I felt a weird feeling of ease.

So this is me...... from now on saying yep, yaha, yeah. YES. I fully pledge to be committed to the programme (providing it doesnt get me into too much more debt, trouble with the police or dates with complete morons) thats the small print. For my friends & loved ones, if you have made it to the end of this blog then you fully deserve to take full advantage of my new good nature.

To be continued.............

The film that got me thinking.....

Morning!

We'll skip over the lack of bloggyness of late, life has been getting in the way :) But I am back today mainly because I feel quite reflective.

I went and checked out that (500) days of Summer last night at the cinema and it really touched me. I wasnt sure what to expect, a tale of unrequited love from a guys perspective..... being the 'men are unemotional robots' cynic that I am, but it actually left me feeling quite emotional. The lead Tom, potrayed the sentiment so well and I am sure everyone left the cinema feeling an empathy with him.... mainly because we've all been there at some stage in our lives. Something struck a nerve with me, a line in the film where Tom & Summer have met up after he knows she has moved on and he tells her he doesnt understand how she suddenly wanted commitment and she says 'I woke up one morning and just knew' he replies 'knew what?' and she confirms 'What I was never sure of with you'. ouch.

That then lead me on to think about my own past relationships and relationships in general.... to question is there ever a time where both people feel equally as strong about each other or is there always one side who wants it more and does this cycle swing backwards & forwards depending on each others circumstances and needs?

Looking back over my own experiences, I felt quite sad knowing that I felt in the majority of them that I was 'Tom' I was the one who put in the effort, I was the one who felt that my life was more complete with that other person in it.... I needed to be wanted in many cases and would do whatever that meant to hold on to that person. It also made me realise that the one time I do think I had an equilibrium in feelings with my other half was the relationship in which I was solely me. It flowed because I didnt force anything and ended because it had run its course, my heart didnt break and it felt like it was meant to be.

It also made me question the whole 'soul mate debate'. I am usually one for pronouncing my believe in the opinion that if its meant for us it wont pass us by and the whole we are under the control of fate theory but on reflection this may not be so true. Maybe we are just so fickle that we get caught up in the moment and think this is what life had destined for us..... maybe, as the film suggest, life is all just a bunch of coincidences? Maybe we do look too hard at trying to make each experience 'The One' when perhaps we should enjoy it as being time spent with 'the one for now'.

A serious blog post from me for a change. Will update on my life soon! x