That little word 'Yes'

YES. A small three letter word. Would you like another cuppa? yes please. Isn't it cold today? Yes it bloody well is. My question is do we use it enough to enhance our lives? The reasoning for my deep & meaningful question time is because I have just finished reading the very talented Danny Wallace's book also subsequently made into a big Hollywood blockbuster, Yes Man.


For those who havent had their nose in the book or watched Jim Carey portray the tale, the basis of the real life story follows Danny, who feels he has got stuck in a rut with his everyday life. He meets a man on the bus ride home (which he wouldnt have been on had it not been for the tube not running) who simply recommends he says yes more. So what starts as simply accepting invitations to the pub with mates turns into spectacular chain of yes's that change his life.

I think we all relate with that burned out feeling where we turned down simple invites with friends because often we just cant be bothered. We're tired, its the same old same old & by not doing it seems we're changing the habitual life patterns we're stuck in. Or, maybe on the other hand, it is the fear of where saying yes will lead. One of my traits that I always view as a doubled edged sword is the fact that I fear the unknown, great that I'm a stable, loyal little bugger but equally sad that change doesnt sit well with me. What am I afraid of? It comes down the lack of control. I hold my hands up to being a control freak and the fear of anyone or anything, especially chance, taking that away from me is something I cant imagine.

But reading Danny's tale, which I assume to all have happened near enough as documented, made me think about how quickly I say no to invites... which are opportunities..... which could lead to all sorts of new experiences. I was struck cold that I could be missing out on all sorts of things that I only dared might happen to me. Whats the worse that could happen? Lots of really good things happened to Danny & the chain of random events also meant his 'yes saying' had a massive effect on other people as well. Some might say a coincidence but I think Danny's actions meant that life changed for other people - and that coming from a stalwart believer in 'if its meant to be it wont pass you by' is pretty, well mega. Maybe we do get a chance to create our own fate/destiny/path in life and that is a whole other avenue to be explored.

To bring this blog to an end and show how much Danny's book is already having an effect on me, I was sat on a train waiting to depart Waterloo just this very weekend when a lovely man (who I later learned was Tom, the illustrator from Basingstoke) asked if he could take the empty seat next to me. 'Of course' I say and he sits down and takes his book out (bear with me this does get more interesting). You've guessed it, he's only bloody reading Yes Man. Cue much excitement from me - dont worry I didnt spoil it for him - but it lead to a lengthy discussion on saying yes and how we both wished we could be a bit more spontaneous. I think theres probably a good chance I bored the tits off him telling him my life story, my regrets, my wishes but I wanted to take this opportunity to thank him for listening to me, it was strangely liberating telling a complete stranger things I dont always want to admit to myself. So Danny Wallace had his bearded Maitreya figure, I had Tom the Illustrator from Basingstoke but after saying our polite goodbyes/have a nice life chat I felt a weird feeling of ease.

So this is me...... from now on saying yep, yaha, yeah. YES. I fully pledge to be committed to the programme (providing it doesnt get me into too much more debt, trouble with the police or dates with complete morons) thats the small print. For my friends & loved ones, if you have made it to the end of this blog then you fully deserve to take full advantage of my new good nature.

To be continued.............

The film that got me thinking.....

Morning!

We'll skip over the lack of bloggyness of late, life has been getting in the way :) But I am back today mainly because I feel quite reflective.

I went and checked out that (500) days of Summer last night at the cinema and it really touched me. I wasnt sure what to expect, a tale of unrequited love from a guys perspective..... being the 'men are unemotional robots' cynic that I am, but it actually left me feeling quite emotional. The lead Tom, potrayed the sentiment so well and I am sure everyone left the cinema feeling an empathy with him.... mainly because we've all been there at some stage in our lives. Something struck a nerve with me, a line in the film where Tom & Summer have met up after he knows she has moved on and he tells her he doesnt understand how she suddenly wanted commitment and she says 'I woke up one morning and just knew' he replies 'knew what?' and she confirms 'What I was never sure of with you'. ouch.

That then lead me on to think about my own past relationships and relationships in general.... to question is there ever a time where both people feel equally as strong about each other or is there always one side who wants it more and does this cycle swing backwards & forwards depending on each others circumstances and needs?

Looking back over my own experiences, I felt quite sad knowing that I felt in the majority of them that I was 'Tom' I was the one who put in the effort, I was the one who felt that my life was more complete with that other person in it.... I needed to be wanted in many cases and would do whatever that meant to hold on to that person. It also made me realise that the one time I do think I had an equilibrium in feelings with my other half was the relationship in which I was solely me. It flowed because I didnt force anything and ended because it had run its course, my heart didnt break and it felt like it was meant to be.

It also made me question the whole 'soul mate debate'. I am usually one for pronouncing my believe in the opinion that if its meant for us it wont pass us by and the whole we are under the control of fate theory but on reflection this may not be so true. Maybe we are just so fickle that we get caught up in the moment and think this is what life had destined for us..... maybe, as the film suggest, life is all just a bunch of coincidences? Maybe we do look too hard at trying to make each experience 'The One' when perhaps we should enjoy it as being time spent with 'the one for now'.

A serious blog post from me for a change. Will update on my life soon! x

Thank Crunchie its Friday!

Hola - Its Fridaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Well I am back in blog land again, two days running, can she keep it up that is the question! Its another beautiful day today, loving these indian summer days, keep em coming!

Went round to dinner at friends last night as her husband was away and so she had free reign to have a good whinge and I could whinge in equal measures about the lost cause. It was fun for a number of reasons namely good old belly laughing, copius amounts of wine & no washing up at the end - RESULT! Also, with any drinking on a school night, the hideous hangover bypasses you. Its a fact.

So another Friday in work, lots to do but little motivation to do it with. Really must make a note to give myself a shake come Monday *goes off to add it to my do list*

Have started taking Sea Kelp tablets for my hair loss - they are supposed to speed up metabolism and therefore increase growth of hair. Apparently it can have effects with all body hair so nows the time to take out shares in BIC and Immac, dont say I didnt give you the heads up!

So weekend plans........ Am off to the gorgeous city of Bath tomorrow with my bessie mate who is now 30 weeks pregnant. Hugely exciting! Have promised not to take her boating in the canal, although quite fancy it myself! Instead we are going for a mooch around in the sunshine and hopefully grab a bite to eat at that pukka Jamie O's Italian gaff. Mustnt spend any unncessary money. Need to look up the meaning of that phrase to check my limits :)

Apart from that it will hopefully be an extremely quiet one - Sunday is a day of decorating frenzy, lots to do and fast running out of time! Will report back on how well I get on. Need to also continue to ignore dead wood / lost cause. Have actually been doing a brilliant job, he called round to see me last night but obviously I was busy bad mouthing him round friends, ears burning anyone?? And he contacted me today to see if I was available tonight, sorry I have a date with Mike Teevee. Check me out being all cool, the Rules ladies would be dead proud!

Over and out - have a good one! x

Im bloody good at this blogging!

OMG its been over a month since I last blogged, shameful shameful shameful. Not going to get a band of merry followers if I can be arsed to record my memoirs am I?

So in a month you'd expect big life changing cosmic happenings - hmmmmmmm i'll just have a think. Not sure anything that momentous happened, although I have finally got rid of some dead wood which has been dragging me down for some time. Big achievement for me to finally upgrade those rose tinted spectacles, the thing that made me the most sad was that I had wasted over 2 years of my life and couldnt look back on any of it with any particular fond memories. Just several regrets......... buying him those BOSE ipod speakers being high up there on the list ;) But in all seriousness, life and learn I suppose. So, am having a bit of time to focus on me and find out what I want from life.

Which brings me nicely onto my next topic to discuss......... am thinking about going back to school eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!! Not literal school as I am not sure even me - a semi cool with it 30 year old - could cope with university, nothing like being surrounded by beautiful cool, funny, talented teenagers to make a girl feel inadeqate eh? But I have been seriously considering OU courses and thinking about working towards a degree. It is expensive though and will be hugely time consuming and after looking at some of the course note tasters looks extremely challenging but maybe thats what I need. I have reached a plateaux in my working life and I have this irrational fear of becoming brain dead. Theres enough of me thats packing up without my brain jumping ship. So am currently weighing up my options....... part of me thinks bugger it and bite the bullet and the other half thinks do I really want to do a degree for the next 5 years?? One to deeply consider but hopefully not talk myself out of......

Ooh hair update hair update - hugely boring!! Still losing lots :( Not actually sure why it wont stop am having blood tests to try and get to the bottom of it. Am about to try the latest miracle cure, sea kelp tablets - lovely seaweedy affair. Supposed to turn to me into Rapunzel, I'll keep you posted on that one.

RIght thats enough for one lunchtime, i'll bid anyone reading this a fond farewell, until tomorrow when I will be back! x

Friday!! Woop! And I started my day with a bit of Tina Turner blaring out ' we dont need another hero, we dont need to know the way home' gotta love the power ballads!! Am feeling semi motivated at work today, ha probably cos the day starts with a Fri and ends in a day!

Another reason I am in a spiffing mood is because I have absolutely nothing planned all weekend. I intend to clean (my kitchen floor is shameful) bake, swim and catch up with friends with a sneaky lie in or two thrown in for good measure! This should also encourage me to have a 'weekend on budget' I feel sooooooo determined at the moment to sort out my finances, I think its cos owing money doesnt sit well with me (ha if anyone could see the state of my affairs they would say I do a good job of covering that up)

Went out last nite down to the local for some vino, live music and some sneaky indian delicacies. was nice to catch up with my sis and my best mate (they are two seperate entities, although obviously I class my sister as one of my best mates ) my bezzie mate is pregnant with her first so its a very exciting time and we have lots to talk about, although im not sure how reassuring childless me and childless sis are when she asks for advice on matters of the breast during pregnancy. Im sure our reassuring nods did the trick tho :) So ended the night with a peshwari naan and some poppadoms, im sure my digestive system appreciated them at half 11 at night. Disgustingly good :)

but.... I did go for a 3.4 mile run though before the pub visit so I am thinking that may have limited the damage slightly. Although, disappointed with the time, in my defence it was warm. Oh warm you say? How unusual, it is only July.

And an update on the hair loss, its still coming out but having researched it, its a phase that my body is going through and that it wont last (there were other more technical terms used) So the thin look will have to be in for a while... am trying to limit the use of the irons, wean myself off them as im not sure the 200 deg heat is helping. Love how I updated on the hair loss, updating myself clearly as I dont have any followers........ :(

Happy Fridays to one and all, will report over the weekend of any interesting going ons! x

to tweet or not to tweet that is the question...

Well its great to see that my blogging was an instant hit..... one post and im out! Useless! But Im back, determind to witter on regardless with the hope that I last longer than a day.

Well what has happened since I last blogged, namely not a huge amount, although my bank balance might tell a different story, since when did not even having a life cost so much money? hummmmffpphhhh - have worked out a budget for August and I really must try harder to stick to it, being debt free is a goal, or being slightly less in debt perhaps is more apt, either way I need to start counting those pennies. God job I spotted the must have black jacket in topshop this month rather than next eh? Thank heavens for small mercies!

So apart from no money and a black jacket not much else to report. I have finally jumped on the twitter bandwagon and I have to say, I am slowly coming round to it..... loving the voyeuristic nature of it all, maybe spying on celebrities is slightly sad but hey I know that Kirstie Allsopp is taking her kids surfing this morning.... how cool is that! Also theres not the pressure of reporting your status in the third person like facebook, phew. Dont worry facebook, you're still my number one social networking site... for the moment.

ooh and I have been working on a bucket list / dayzero list. I am combining the two so that its a win win situation being that a) the bucket list doesnt give me a time constraint well obviously it does but not that pressured 1001 days like day zero and b) day zero needs 101 things..... eeek thats alot of goals for even the most dedicated of man. So im reworking the list to suit me, rather than spending hours online pinching ideas from other peoples lists that I dont even want to do just to make up the 101 things, errrrrrrr remove make up every day for a year..... impossible!

So I will finalise the list and publish it on my blog so you can follow my progress, I say 'you' can follow my progress, im not actually sure that anybody is reading this but I live in hope.

Just before I go, anyone have any miracle cure for thinning hair? Im having a thin day. and not in body. I go through stages of losing my hair and I am coming to terms with it being hormonal as I cant think of any other reason why?? Stress?? maybe a little but in the great scheme of things probably not. Note to self, mustnt spend money I dont have on thickening products which make promises they cant keep.

Right back to work for me..... am off out for a run tonight, followed by wine! Perfect!! :) x

I rename this day, tired tuesday!

ooh a new blog! Ha wonder how many blogs are started on a tuesday rather than a monday, how off the wall and how unlike me!

I woke up today, still tired from the weekend and with a sore throat, why you ask? Well I was one of the millions of people who have recently seen Take That. Show was fabulous and a complete spectacle of charm and colour but I still seem incapable of behaving like a lovesick teenager when I go to that type of gig. Hence the sore throat, too much screaming and singing 'We can rule the woooooooooooooooooooooooorld' and 'A million love songs laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaater' so now I sound like deidre barlow after she has been chain smoking. Clearly when someone asks if I am coming down with something I just nod rather than explain that I was screaming and wailing at Gary, Mark, Howard and Jason like some 15 year old.

So I am stuck at work desperately trying to get motivated but clearly doing anything but, its also the gym class from hell tonight so I really need to work up some kinda enthusiasm come 6pm. I also now have 3 days left to decide on whether I can muster up some energy to attempt a half marathon in September. Problem is, when I suggested it in April I was full of it but now three months later that has somewhat waned and made way for the fear of not being able to make it round. Aside from the fact it is going to cost me 30 english pounds I dont have, lesson learnt today - keep gob shut until certain.

Right well I suppose thats enough for the minute, considering I am actually being paid to do something else right now - sssssssssssssssssh I wont tell if you wont. I will hopefully be back with more exciting ramblings later and maybe minus the sore throat but plus the enthusiasm for exercise...

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!